i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.