I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch