remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite