I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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