Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
