That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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