My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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