Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar