just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.