She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?