We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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