Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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