i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?