There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.