My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
