I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
