my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
