Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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