i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize