so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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