After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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