I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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