17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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