Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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