The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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