I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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