Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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