nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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