High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize