I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
