YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.