Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?