my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again