Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.