I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.