I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult