He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
