Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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