Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
