I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
