I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize