hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
