Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
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We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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