I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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