Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
