how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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