I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My ass is underappreciated
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize