So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch