i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
