very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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