oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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