Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
