i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize