After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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