If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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