Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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