Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
