So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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