Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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