And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize